June 7, 2025 - Dan Simmons and Fatherhood

Daniel Simmons shared his personal journey and experiences as a father, foster parent, and adoptive parent. He emphasized the importance and joy of fatherhood, highlighting the role of fathers in creating, protecting, and guiding their children. Daniel spoke about the societal challenges and misconceptions surrounding fatherhood, urging fathers to embrace their responsibilities and authority with the support of God. He concluded by encouraging the audience to reflect on their own experiences of fatherhood and the impact of their faith on their paternal roles.

MC: Adam Hohn

Parochial Vicar: Tyler Arens

Presenter: Daniel Simmons

Deacon: Rick Freedberg

Brought to you By: The Knights of Columbus

participantOne:(700-27180): Are you able to hear me like this? Is that fine or should I use the mic? Normally my voice cuts through concrete so thanks I appreciate it. All right good to go. As he said my name is Daniel Simmons. I have five children. Actually I would consider I have five and a half. I have like one of my young cousins when he was about 15.

participantOne:(28000-58220): came, stayed with me, lived with me, and I kind of took over from there. And I was a foster parent. I'm an adoptive parent. Two of my children, my wife and I adopted, and they were originally foster children that we were taking care of. And then after the parental rights were moved, we wound up just keeping them. And so I've had a lot of experience in this area in terms of like

participantOne:(58519-81600): parenting, fathering. I've been training people throughout when I was in the military, then later as a teacher. So I've really had a lot of opportunities, I think, to kind of explore, experience this space of fatherhood and all of its, the kind of different facets of it. And so I just wanted to talk to you gentlemen here today about

participantOne:(81560-105120): not just my own personal experience and thoughts about this, but I really wanted to focus on more of kind of a exhortation and a joy of fatherhood. I think a lot of times when we get around this season, whenever it's Mother's Day, everything is about how wonderful mothers are and how they're perfect in every way, and that's great. And then when Father's Day comes around,

participantOne:(105820-112420): People look around in the culture, they look around in the world, and they see what's happening. And so Father's Day is a time where they're like,

participantOne:(112800-139640): You guys suck. You need to step it up. You're not getting the job done. And I, first off, that's a terrible message. It's wrong. It's not helpful to anyone. And I would say also in a lot of ways, it's simply not true. In fact, the very people that are hectoring you, the culture, or the people that are talking about how it's not getting done right or whatever, are the very people who are putting roadblocks in your path, in your way, doing everything they can

participantOne:(139740-165299): to denigrate, to destroy, to bring down fatherhood to begin with. So just with that, I'm a little blind, so I'm going to take a look at this here. I just want to talk about this notion of fatherhood that you're called to, this powerful, amazing vocation, right? In so many ways, you are called to imitate God the Father.

participantOne:(165640-176760): just right from the very first thing when you become a father you yourself you are taking part in the creation of something that is eternal that little child that little soul

participantOne:(177740-202459): That wasn't there before. This is something that is now going to exist forever. And you, as man, are allowed to partner in that creative act there from God the Father. And then what are you entrusted with? Not only right there is you have a hand in creation, right there, just like the Lord our God, but then what are you called to do afterwards? To protect, to preserve, to instruct, to

participantOne:(202840-217720): right to provide all of these things that you are doing are in a sense you are called to imitate lord our god and i know you know not necessarily all of you in here had a father growing up

participantOne:(218240-246859): and or not or you know maybe not for long sometimes but maybe at some point when you're a boy and you're looking at those shoes or your father you're looking at his shoes and your feet and those shoes seem so big when you're little right and i i look at this thing like we're called to by god i look at his shoes i'm like oh my goodness those are huge shoes to fill but he promises you each and every one of us that he'll be there every step of the way he's given us the model

participantOne:(247400-272280): And he has promised us the support, the care, the love, and this is super important as well. Along with these responsibilities that he has entrusted and charged each and every one of you with, he has given you the authority to carry that out. And that, in my mind, is a huge thing that is often forgotten or often under attack in our culture and our world, and I would say sometimes in our churches.

participantOne:(273520-282260): there's this kind of thing here where again men are always uh you know they talk about when you make these marriage vows right the man

participantOne:(282720-304200): You have to die for your wife. You have to die like Christ died for the church. So everybody's on board with that, like what you are called to do, your responsibilities as a man. In a sense, you are spending out your life, interposing your life, giving up your life to defend, to protect, to provide, to instruct those people in your charge. And the wife is supposed to honor and what? What?

participantOne:(307360-325740): That's perfect. Somebody might even be scared to say it. You're supposed to honor and obey, right? And what is under constant attack in this country? They're like, no, well, well, not like this. Not all this kind of equivocation. But here's the deal. You're not set above...

participantOne:(326240-356659): you know your wife or in such a way like as a as a tyrant or to control her or to abuse her no more than you were set in charge of your children to be a tyrant or to abuse them but again you will notice the family right models like the micro church it's that first unit of the church if someone is responsible for all these things and again responsibility without authority is meaningless if you have no authority to act in these things then it's not really your responsibility

participantOne:(357160-384580): But here's the deal, a lot of times men, they will advocate that responsibility, or excuse me, they'll advocate the responsibility and the authority. They won't take that thing, it's like this is not only what I'm responsible for, but this is what I've been given authority and grace by God to carry out. So I want to start with that idea right there. A lot of things, like I say in our culture,

participantOne:(385360-410820): They attack that notion. Almost everything that you see there in popular culture for many years is instead of like, father knows best, father's a bumbling idiot, father's a fool, father's a constant butt of joke that's under attack both by the children, by the wife, by every possible thing. In fact, I can't think of very many positive male images, positive male father images in the culture, right?

participantOne:(411060-431760): that reinforce both your responsibility and your authority as a man. And I would say that's deliberate. I would say that every part of our faith is generally under attack by secular culture. And one of the first things that you want to destroy, you want to destroy the family. And where are you going to destroy it at? You're going to destroy it at the head.

participantOne:(432240-445580): So what I'm saying to you is, if you ever feel like, oh, oppressed, or oh, it's difficult, all the challenges of fatherhood that you're going through, many of you here probably are fathers, and I'm sure you've felt all the same ups and downs I have. Just know...

participantOne:(445940-472760): that there's a reason. This is not, there's tremendous pressure coming from all around to attack not only that role, that position, and to make you want to be like, well, just, you know, and step back, oh, I'll let her do this, or I'll let the world tell me this, or, right? There's tremendous pressure to do that. No matter which way you turn. And I want to tell you that that is a lie.

participantOne:(473380-500560): and not to give into it. And I want to say it's not easy, but I'm telling you the scripture is there for you every step of the way. God our Father has shown you and promised you he'd be there to provide for you, to be that shelter in the storm, to protect you from the enemies, to be all those things that you're supposed to be for your very own family. And a lot of times, like again, our Christian faith, it's like it goes against the grain. It is not popular.

participantOne:(501160-528660): It is not popular to be a strong, good, and righteous man, and definitely not a strong, good, and righteous father, but that's what each and every one of us call to. And I think groups like this or things like this or any type of fellowship with other men where you can share the truth and the honesty of both of your struggles, your journey, and your triumphs is absolutely essential to build up those, I would say these skills that we have here, like between one another, that moral support

participantOne:(529120-554640): Right? And I don't know, I definitely get some good ideas. Like if you're talking like, oh, my kid, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, yeah, I know, blah, blah, blah. Right? You share that, might see some wisdom. I just had a guy right here. I don't even know it. What's your name? Riley. Hey Riley. So this is not quite parenting, but teaching. He's like, oh, I had this amazing experience. I'm like, oh, I'm shameless and I'll steal it. So I just think that these kinds of things are absolutely important.

participantOne:(554920-582460): So I know that right there, it's like, oh, it's kind of like a lot of grim kind of stuff here. But I just want to talk about, here's all the good things. Like, these are your responsibilities, and this is important. This is the authority that you have to act in this. And this just demonstrates these real-life things, shows you how critical it is. Now, a lot of you have probably already heard this, that there's a number of studies. The most notable one was done with a Swiss outfit. But they have found that if men, fathers, take their children to mass...

participantOne:(582680-597840): Those children are 75 plus percentage. They're most likely there to continue on in their faith. If it's just the mother, it's like two, two or 3%. That's over 30 times different. That two percent is almost inconsequential.

participantOne:(598540-619820): And it's not like those women are bad. It's not like those women are somehow incompetent. It's just not what they were entrusted by God to do. It's not what they're calling. It's not what their authority is. It's just not, you know, they do their best, and there's nothing wrong with that. But it is our responsibility. It is our authority. It is our things that we are tasked to do.

participantOne:(619980-643840): And even if those, and this is a part of here in my land for some of us, is some of us have done that and provided that witness and have provided that leadership, provided that space for our children to grow, grow in their faith, be taught, be instructed. And then later on your kid goes off and maybe they're not, like that seed does not look like it is growing at all. That is not bearing any good fruit. But I have to tell you.

participantOne:(644160-672360): We don't know all things. We don't know all the paths. We don't know, and I myself have had kids where I'm like, what are you doing, man? You know better. You were instructed better. You were shown better, right? And it's like, but this is one thing I always take heart is, because our job, again, the instruction and raising them up in the faith, being that model and being that witness, I take heart in the whole story of the prodigal son. The father is righteous and a good man and a good father.

participantOne:(673160-703240): He raises kids, trains them right, and the youngest son is an ungrateful snot. He's completely selfish, self-centered, and he's like, give me my stuff. And the father's like, he loves him, merciful. He probably even knows what's going to happen, but he's like, here you go, son. I'm a giver of good gifts like the father. I know what my children want or need, and I give good things.

participantOne:(703600-732100): Kid takes it, runs off, blows it all. And he's sitting there in the pits of despair, eating the things that the pigs won't eat or whatever. And he thinks to himself, and this is where we come back in. It's like, what was my father's life? What was his household like? Even the lowest person in my father's household had enough. My father provided. My father didn't just provide for his children. He provided for everyone.

participantOne:(734860-758360): All the people in his household, they were safe. They were protected. They were all behind his walls. And this kid, just by that model, just by that witness of his own father's thing, even though he went off and spent his time in dissipation, that seed was there in his heart. That truth was there in his heart. And that model that his father provided for him, because he knew, he knew that if he returned...

participantOne:(758839-789140): His father was a loving, merciful God. That doesn't mean he didn't have justice. Didn't mean he always said yes. But he knew that if he came back, or he felt in his heart, that his father at least would accept him in this lowest form, whatever this servant is. And the kid comes back, right? And how does the father react? He's not like, what the hell? I can't believe you did this. He's like, no. He runs out, embraces him, greets him, welcomes him back. Okay.

participantOne:(789380-820680): I just feel very strongly, both just, I mean, I think of my journey as a teacher, but also as a father, that these things that you plant, these witnesses that you provide to your sons, they see it. And even as they go forth and may get lost, they're always going to have that compass, that map back home. And so even if it might be difficult or frustrating sometimes for your children, you know, when you're raising them, I promise you, God is good. And those seeds will be planted in their heart.

participantOne:(820880-844080): And maybe they come back home after you're gone, to be honest. But the final destination is heaven. The final destination is eternal. So if the seeds you plant in that 8-year-old boy, 9-year-old daughter, if they don't sprout until they're like 85, it's still a win, man. It is still a win.

participantOne:(845500-876780): I just, I gotta be honest, I could keep running on for a while about these particular things here. But I guess I want to take away or give you a few things here before I leave you. How do we learn to become a father? We have the Bible, it gives you a lot of good witnesses, we get a lot of words. But not every young boy, it's like you're not going to be taking apart the Bible and reading it. It's like, oh, this is a good lesson on fatherhood. No, you're going to learn it.

participantOne:(877199-907480): at your father's knee you're gonna learn it by your father's side you're gonna learn it walking talking going along i think of even jesus right like what did joseph teach him taught him a trade talk about a work how to get up says joseph was a righteous man taught jesus the law so i mean i guess teach is kind of a little tough there because you know he already starts off really knowing it but still that's joseph's responsibility to instruct him right and all of those things

participantOne:(907760-937880): And I think that's probably one of the great tragedies our culture faces is that line has been broken a lot of ways. There's a lot of, you know, I'm speaking especially about boys because they're the ones that suffer the most from that lack of an example. Often our relationship with our father, that's kind of our first kind of like touchstone with God, right? Because God the Father, Dad the Father, this is this kind of thing, this thing of both authority and protection and guidance. So if this

participantOne:(938140-971420): part of the link is broken, it leaves a wound there that's very hard to re-establish. And that's one of the things here is we're raising these young men, like, I think this is one of the great things, they're watching everything. And I think, like, just thinking about my own experience here is like, so if there's no one there, you're left, who's gonna teach you? Well, the world's always ready to step in and teach you how to be a man, what's good to be a man.

participantOne:(971660-990580): This is what a man does. And almost all of it's total garbage and bull crap. So I know you guys here, if you're here, you probably know full well how critical it is that mentoring, not just for your son and whatever, but you can step into that role for other people

participantOne:(990959-1004740): who are missing that as well. Now, same people that are missing that father or that man wasn't there in their life to instruct them, to train them, to mentor them, to protect them, to shelter them, to mentor them and guide them on their path.

participantOne:(1004579-1030900): You, each and every one of you, have that opportunity. It's out there, whether in this church, whether in these groups like the Knights, any of these things where you're going to come into contact with young men, and to be honest, even old guys like me, you know, I can still learn things. I can still be shepherded. I can still be taught, right? You have tremendous power and authority to instruct and to help people become righteous men.

participantOne:(1031280-1053020): I would, I'm going to leave you guys now with this. I know we break apart in the groups and stuff like that. So I'm going to say, as you go back here, what I'd like to think about, if I may, if you don't mind. Obviously, talk about whatever you like. But this is stuff I was thinking about myself when I went through this. And I just thought...

participantOne:(1054360-1084880): What was fatherhood like for you or what did you think of fatherhood when you were a boy? Or what was your experience? Like some of you got to go way back, but what did that mean to you? Right? And then later on, many of you are in here are fathers. What did that mean or what that become when you held that first child of yours? What was that feeling like when you had and then that whole, I can only tell you like I was probably pretty selfish and self-centered person.

participantOne:(1085300-1112080): and this was like i got a pretty wild moment for me i don't want to say anything more to poison the well there but when you held that child and now now that you've either been a father or kind of been in that role for some time or even maybe your grandparent at this role uh what does that now become especially many of you if you're here you have a relationship with christ you have a relationship with god

participantOne:(1112320-1132760): what has that done for you now at this point? So when you were a boy, when you held your first child, and then finally now at this point in this journey and your walk with God. All right. I don't know. That's what I got. So I go on, though. All right. Thank you, gentlemen. I appreciate your time. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night.